A new hat

I have a new hat.

It is a black trilby with a cream ribbon around it.

When I first bought my hat, which was on a Friday, I imagined life in my new hat, things we would do, people we would meet, places we would go to.

My new life in my new hat.

How I would laugh in my new hat.

In my new hat I would dance around pubs where people would try and borrow it so that they too could delight in a life with such a hat.

One day I will lose this hat on a bus.

Because that is what happens.

Walking

I've taken to walking around the streets of London and it has come to my attention that London is one giant pinball machine and I am the ball baring. 

I thought it was because I am small and because people are rude that I seem to spend my time bouncing off  people, walls and door ways but now I realise that obviously somebody in a parallel universe is playing London-themed pin ball. Every time I get barged, pushed, nudged or banged on the head by a crazy women with a fake Louis Vuitton bag it is not the carelessness of others but the design of a sadistic pinball addict somewhere other than here. 

I hate pinball and shall now boycott it on humanitarian grounds.